I Loved Vodka

I loved vodka

Nothing else could sate my soul

That paint stripper quality of a Kirov

The mellow mood that came with Smirnoff

Triple Distilled

My thirst could never have its fill

We’d chase it with lines

That grew less and less fine

As the hunger increased

And all of our money went into the belly of the beast

A change came about, most unexpectedly

When lack of sleep became the priority

Its funny how basic instinct

Can make a conscience step aside and think, ponder, wonder…

Is this all there is?

The glaring truth is….

NO there’s so much more.

I began to see the colours of the world in bold

My love for the written word has begun to take hold

The sun is starting to shine again

Once more I’m becoming whole

 

 

10 Things You Come To Realise In Your Late Twenties

As I sit here at the grand old age of 28, I’ve started to ponder the differences in the way I thought about things in my early twenties compared to the twilight years of my twenties. To say that your twenties are one of the most transitional decades of your life does ring with more than a little truth. So here are the ten things I have come to realise about life (so far at least) in my late twenties. I hope they provide solace for those of you in your twenties, thirties, heck, even forties who still haven’t figured out what to do with their life. Do we ever truly?

10 Things You Come To Realise In Your Late Twenties

1. I can’t, as much as I would deny it, consume anything more than two beers without having some form of hangover the next day. This is a truth I struggle with every Friday night, and forget every Friday night, but which I am painfully reminded of every Saturday morning.

2. There is no shame, at all, in wanting to stay home of a weekend. That friend who mocks you for it, are they starting to look a little worn around the edges? Yeah there’s a reason behind that. It’s called BURNOUT. Netflix was invented for a reason.

3. Life is very, very busy. Where did all the time go? Trying to find a miniscule gap in yours and a friends seperate schedules in which to sit down together and take stock over a glass of wine gets more and more difficult with each passing year.

4. NO is a good word. It’s not dirty, it’s necessary sometimes and it will set you free. Practice saying it with me N-O. N-O.. NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO. Feels good huh? Say it one more time just for luck!

5. Netflix, even though I am a huge fan, I still find it hard to justify binge watching, there’s so so little downtime in the average persons life that I feel it might just be good to get out and see the sun for a while? Of course, the occasional binge never hurt anyone.

6. Nature, I have no idea when or how this happened but the older I have gotten, the more I have craved to feel and see nature around me. Still haven’t quite figured out the rationality behind this one!

7. True friendships deepen over the years, honestly I can count on one hand the number of friends I truly still seek the company of and whom I genuinely care for or actively seek to sustain a friendship with. Those friendships are worth their weight in gold.

8. If someone says that they no longer wish to be in a relationship with you. give yourself time to grieve that relationship and adjust your life accordingly to that person no longer being around, but don’t hope for reconciliation 99% of the time. Some relationships work out, others don’t, but those that don’t put you one step closer to The One! No matter how long the healing process takes, you must be ok with yourself before jumping into another relationship. This is only fair on both yourself and any future lovers, because otherwise you’re only giving a half hearted version of yourself, all the form but with none of the colour. Where’s the fun in that?

9. Metabolism slowing down….it’s NOT a myth. If you eat that cake you will have to work off that cake. The body needs to be taken care of once it’s past it’s glory days. Time to start using it and slowing down the abusing of it!

10. Why am I always so tired!

Can we only ever have one truly creative love?

Ever since I was a little girl, words, writing, have been my greatest love. They have been the security, friends and family I have needed when the world threatened to topple down on me. Dark days have shown clearer skies because of the way words enable me to express myself. However, of late, well, the past six months or so, I have fallen truly, madly, deeply and utterly in love with music. My writing is still present, but now it is turning itself into song lyrics. Once upon poems, stories flowed from my pen/fingers as I typed/wrote. Now, it is emotions, celebrations and remembrances of lost loves that seem to occupy every single minute that I can possibly commit in my life to creative pursuits; forming themselves into verses, a bridge and a chorus.

Not only that, but I have tentatively started to sing. Not because I believe that I possess any real noticeable talent in this regard, simply because it just feels, well, it just feels right. If I can’t sing at some point everyday I become disheartened, I imagine it is how a bird must feel when it’s song announces the arrival of spring. I can’t explain it, it’s just something within me that has awokened. It’s vital and a part of the very essence of my being. Which brings me to the whole point of this blog post, can we ever really have more than one creative outlet which we give ourselves 110 % to? Is there room in the heart, mind and soul to commit our deepest passion, that which makes us feel most alive and fulfiiled, to more than one art form, whatever your choices may be?

It feels to me that my life has almost been split in two, in terms of my creativity, there is the past me, who lived her life amongst Keats, Byron and the love of the written word, of stories; and the present, the love for music which is fast becoming my r’aison detre. Yet, I don’t want to lose my dedication for writing, because it has carried me through so much, and I can say without feeling shame, that I do possess a small amount of talent in that capacity.

What do you think? Is your heart torn between two creative pursuits? Or do you believe that two or more creative pursuits can be indulged, side by side in your life, with each receiving the same amount of passion and dedicatiom?

LDN 1986 – Present

LDN 1986 – Present
Loves me like no other
Only her bright lights for me
Never could I find another as enticing as She
Deep as the Thames, her love flows through my veins
Often she leaves me awestruck, casts me aside in my wonder
Never, Her, could I leave.

Only Lovers Left Alive

Only Lovers Left Alive, the new film starring Tilda Swinton. This post isn’t a review as such, but rather a ponder of the thoughts and feelings that the film creates. For a vampire film, there isn’t a single occurrence of blood sucking An interesting take, but one which undoubtedly adds to the sensuality of this film which is sure to become a cult classic.

Immortality, arguably the greatest gift, and curse of being a vampire. Adam, the male protagonist vampire, is morose at the beginning of the film. Contemplating suicide by wooden bullet, fuelled by the despair he feels at the way the “zombies” i.e the vampiric name for day dwellers, and the way that they treat each other, it begs the question if we could ever tire of the gift of eternal life? Centuries of being witness to suffering certainly seem to be taking their toll on him. Equally, on the other side of the coin, Adam’s lover, Eve (nice choice of names for your characters there Mr.Jarmusch, well played) is full of vigour, with a deep love for nature and the virtues of friendship and “dance”. She is in the world and all that reside within it, surely such love is reminiscent of a being who is, in some form at least, in possession of a soul?

As I said, this is not really a review, however, spoiler alert for those whom are wondering how the vampires feed…..

They have become ethical and buy blood samples from corrupt doctors for large sums of money.

A deeply atmospheric soundtrack creates a certain magic within the realms of this film. Brooding and slow paced at times, yet coupled with some wonderfully light comedic scenes, added to the centuries old love that is portrayed so wonderfully between Tilda and Tom Hiddleston, Only Lovers Left Alive gives a beautiful, thought provoking look into how love really could live on through the ages. We highly recommend.

Food. My one great love.

Food, glorious food. Food is, quite possibly, the one great love of my life. This love affair seems to have only truly bloomed within the past two or so years. I can’t remember being this enamoured of tasty treats in my younger days. It just crept in gradually, this adoration, reeling me in with flavours, smells and the sheer damn beauty of a plate laden with goodness.

We have an odd relationship, food and I. It started backwards. During my adolescence, we were enemies, in my early adulthood, friends. Now, in adulthood, we are, and always will be, lovers.
Previously, I regarded food as merely sustenance, the necessary fuel required to steer me through the day. I would eat bland, albeit healthy, meals. My taste buds were so uncultured to the wealth, the variety that existed in the world. I regret those wasted years now. Time that could have been spent experiencing culinary delights, beyond anything my imagination could conjure up. Of course, now, it has become almost a life goal to devour as many different combinations of foodstuffs as are available to me.

Perhaps I sound to you like something of the glutton? To a degree, you may be correct. However, I hold it to be an unquestionable truth, that food is good not just for the body, but the soul. A meal itself isn’t the standalone prize. There are so many other factors. The people you share it with, the place you eat it, the memories that are created. One faint whiff of a food you enjoy can take you back, instantly, to the first time you tried it. Spices, sauces, seasoning, transport you to far flung lands you may never have even visited, but have always dreamed about.

Of course, as with all things, overindulgence can ruin ones enjoyment. However, it is most often overindulgence of the most depressing, flavourless foods that leads to a rotund figure. Fast food, the bane of mankind. The convenience of this food is quickly overshadowed by the empty feeling it leaves inside. It fills a hole, but does it ever really make you happy? You spend money on something that has had no care taken in its preparation, is nothing but bad for your health, and the profits from which line the pockets of someone whom really doesn’t care if you enjoyed your meal.
Where’s the fun in that?

I associate food with many things; friends, family, joy, memories. It’s not always with the good times, who hasn’t comfort eaten when they’ve had a broken heart, a bad day at work? The one thing it reminds me of though, above all of these things, is love. It is the constant that allows our lives to keep on going, our hearts to keep beating. Food keeps us alive, loves gives us a reason to keep on living.

Lily Allens Controversial New Single “Hard Out Here”

Lily Allen, Ivor Novello award winner, Brit Pop darling and feminist extraordinaire has smashed back onto the British music scene with a satire soaked single and video for her new single “Hard Out Here”.

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The video, which features several recognisable hip-hop stereotypes (twerking, ass slapping, champagne , rims!) gives a clear and striking message of Lilys views against the use of the word “bitch”. The video has provoked comment regarding feminism and objectification of females in the music industry across blogs, YouTube and all other media,not always for the right reasons. Some writers and commenters have cited that the use of black female dancers in the video is an indication of Allen’s racist leanings. Although anyone whom has watched the video will see that satire really is the call of the day in this debate provoking, but altogether catchy tune (plus half of the dancers are of other skin colours).

Despite the question of racism, Lily never fails to disappoint in her aim in provoking thought and open opinion with her music. She is the breath of fresh air in a music industry that undeniably uses women as sexual props to sell records.

Have a view and let us know what you think!